The Milestones You Never Expect

I've said this often, but I've worked with children since I was 16 years old. After all these years, I still find myself experiencing new moments with children that make me stop and reflect.

Most people who really know me know I met my daughter when she was four years old, just a few months before she turned five. Becoming her parent has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. But because our journey started when it did, there are certain milestones I never got to experience.

I never had the toddler who climbs into your bed in the middle of the night, somehow ending up sideways with their feet in your back. I got to experience that later with my nephew, and it reminded me that life has a funny way of giving us moments we thought we had missed.

Today, I experienced another one.

Jaala and I went to tour an apartment. When we left, we got into our own cars because she was coming back to the house with me. I took a wrong turn, thinking she'd understand where I meant to go. Instead of continuing to follow me, she pulled up beside me... and then she took the lead.

It was such a simple moment, but it felt poetic.

She's 25 years old now. She's recently engaged. Watching her confidently move ahead made me realize something I hadn't put into words before. She didn't need me to figure it out for her. She trusted herself enough to take over.

As parents, caregivers, teachers, and mentors, we spend so much time leading children that we sometimes miss the moment they become capable of leading themselves.

That quiet shift is a milestone.

There wasn't an announcement. There wasn't a ceremony. Just two cars on the road and a realization that the little girl I once guided had grown into a woman who could confidently take the wheel—literally and figuratively.

Maybe that's what raising children is really about.

Not making sure they always follow your lead, but preparing them for the day they no longer need to.

And when that day comes, the greatest joy isn't that they followed you.

It's that they knew when to lead themselves.